Traveler's Files: Hetalia
by LaughingTragedy
Summary: "Okay nations, I'm Mr. Cadillac, I'm a interdimensional bookkeeper and I'm here to interview you." Warning: Cursing, Psychotic OC, Fans have some control of the story, alcoholism, and stereotypes.
1. Chapter 1

**Traveler's Guild Sector Exploration Form**

**Sector:**1952

**Section Core Coordinates:** 2008-2012-1952

**Has this particular mutiverse been visited by artisan kind before?**

Yes. Branch visited: 2013-2014-1952

**Is this multiverse hostile?**

Possibly.

**Is this multiverse "normal"?**

Yes and no. The section's timeline is identical to the Omniverse template, section is yet to reach technological advances to defend against fallens. I've also found anomalies in this section. The anomalies appear to be the personifications of nations, regions, and micronations.

**Does this multiverse have any magic users or magical creatures?**

Yes, a handful of the personifications have shown basic magical abilites and the ability to see magical creatures. The creatures include basic trolls, fairies, and unicorns. Warning: personifications have been able to disable artisan abilities.

**Does this multiverse have extraterrestrial life?**

Yes, one of the personifications is roommates with a Grey.

**Does multiverse show signs of implosion?**

Nope, this expedition is just to prepare for the next time I pick a vacation spot. I REALLY don't wanna wake up to some Conquistador yelling at me to produce gold, again.

**Adaptation specifics.**

1. Weight loss

2. Hair growth

3. More stereotypical behavior, temporary.

4. First go round, it feels as though your eyes are being ripped out by the Human Torch.

5. If section has the same characteristics as "Satan's Sector" traveler may suddenly become a rampaging psychopath.

**Multiverse's danger level? **

1-3 at most, the anomalies are creatures of habit and are pathetically predictable.

**Will you be bringing a non-interdimensional assistant?**

Probably one of the nation personifications. It'll be interesting to see what happens to them when taken out of their natural habitat.

* * *

**Me: I should probably explain. My creation, Mr. Cadillac here, is going on a expedition. He is basically just going around and writing down the differences between the nations he knows and the many different versions he faces. **

**Cadillac: You're really making me do this huh? Let me just get something, *pulls out a bottle of Vodka and takes a swig*.**

**Me: The first world he visits is up to you. It can be a dark nationverse, 2p, gender reversal, just suggest something.**


	2. Chapter 2: Showtime

**Me: Wow, not single one. Okay *spins wheel of Nations versions* And it's. *Stops wheel* Huh, a universe were America and Russia are partners.**

**Cadillac: Hahahah, good one! No really, where are you sending me? **

**Me: I'm not kidding, and you're going to be stuck with one of the nations you know. So *writes down nation name*, go fetch this guy and document or whatever you do. Just no crippled or cannibalized nations.**

**Cadillac: I really miss the pirate age. Again, my creator only owns me.**

* * *

The nations were currently having another boring meeting, mostly discussing the fact they were recently attacked by a murderous psychopath who cut three of them up and fed them to scorpions (Mr. Cadillac). Prussia was trying to keep awake when all of a sudden a bottle of vodka was thrown at the current speaker (America). He swiftly ducked and all eyes were on Russia.

"Actually I was the one who threw it." The room's attention turned to the man at the end of the table no one noticed before. He was average height, pale as Prussia, had jet black hair, , and in a trench coat of equal color. Also it appeared he had a metal hand, claws on the other, and fangs. He got up from the table and moved towards the Prussian man. "Don't worry, I'm not here to violently dismember you people for enslaving me. I just need to borrow one of you for a job, preferably the one who isn't needed in this meeting."

Germany immediately stood up. "I'm sorry but you can't jus-" "Do you want to go through boot camp training again?" Cadillac smiled as he watched the the large blonde slowly sit down. Cadillac continued to speak, "Anyway the job is basically accompany me through the branches of this multiverse. Write down what I say, keep me from killing the other versions of you, and maybe to see what happens if one of you is taken out of your natural habitat."

Austria attempted to speak next, "There is no way one of u-" "I'll pay whoever signs up with 350,000 euros for every world we visit and an object of there desire." "Where do I sign up?" Austria's eyes turned into dollar (euro?) signs. Switzerland also volunteered, along with a handful of nations who had a bit of a debt problem right now.

"Sorry but I already have someone in mind for the job." Cadillac snapped his metal fingers and disappeared, along with Prussia.

* * *

The interdimensional being and the personification reappeared in what appeared to be just white landscape. There were no walls, no structures, just possibly miles of white concrete. Prussia immediately started to freak out.

"Oh Gott! Oh Gott! Where am I?! Are you going to kill me?! Please don't, I'm to YOUNG AND AWESOME TO DIE!" Cadillac immediately placed his hand over the Prussian's mouth.

"Shut up so I can explain to you what's going to happen." The albino slowly nodded. Cadillac let go of him, "Since I already had my bloody revenge on all those who wronged me, I'm going back to my old job as a multiverse bookkeeper."

Prussia, not hearing that part about Cadillac horribly murdering those who have wronged him, laughed at the fact the man who all nations fear was a bookkeeper. "Oh, oh Gott you must be kidding. The great Mr. Cadillac is a fucking bookkeeper. I knew you must've had an unawesome job but real-ACK ACK!" Prussia couldn't finish that sentence because Cadillac immediately started choking him.

"Disrespect me and I'll put you in a wheelchair, again. Just write down what I say and we can get through this quick." Cadillac forces a diary and pen into Prussia's hands, "The first world is relatively normal, I think anyway since I only checked to make sure it wasn't at war."

"I remember you said something about needing to adapt to a new world, what would happen to the awesome me?"

Cadillac took out a piece of bubblegum, "My guess is either insanity or", he chews the piece and blows a bubble. He smiles wide, revealing his many teeth covered in gum. "Will let's see what happens." He grabs the ex-nation by the throat and snaps his fingers.

* * *

In another dimension, this world's personifications were in their meeting room. This world's America was currently blabbering about giant robots.

"And that's how we could stop global warming by making our own- What the fuck is that?" The nations turned to the luminescent figures that suddenly appeared in the doorway. The figures materialized into what looked like Prussia and some guy in a trench coat and gauntlet. The Prussia lookalike immediately began to kiss the ground.

"Oh Gott, sweet awesome ground I missed you! And I didn't explode!" This world's version of Prussia stared at his dimensional other. Mr. Cadillac coughed and sheepishly tried to introduce himself.

"Hello nations, I'm Mr. Bart Cadillac, you don't know me but your other versions know me." The room was silent and most of the nations just thought the guy was a wackjob. Russia got up and spoke,

"You have 5 seconds to get out before I beat you with pipe, da?" Russia gave the stranger the childish smile all nations learned to fear. He was surprised when the man started to laugh uncontrollably. He made his way to the man who was currently on the floor laughing like a lunatic. He pulled out his pipe and began to bash in his skull until the laughing stopped. When it did there was a pile of bloody pulp where Cadillac's head used to be.

"We continue meeting, da?" The nations quickly agreed. The Prussia that came with Cadillac was poking the body, "Now how am I supposed to get home?" He felt nauseated as he saw the pile of splattered brains start to reform into Cadillac. The corpse got up and cleared his throat.

"Let's try this again, I'm Mr. Cadillac, a interdimensional being here to write your pathetic excuse of a world into the books. I brought along one of the nations from the world I know to prove I'm not some goddamn magician like the Union-Jackass over there." This world's version of Britain immediately despised this strange creature. "Now if you people can just answer some questions this can be over quick."

The British personification got up, "And why should we, wanker?" The man touched the gauntlet and all of a sudden a mount of gold appeared on the meeting table.

"I have many abilites Mr. Kirkland. I'll just ask you one by one a few questions and you'll be paid in gold when it's done. Any objections?" No one objected because they were going to be fucking paid in gold. Cadillac and Prussia took seats at the end of the table.

"First up."

* * *

**Me: And that's enough for now.**

**Cadillac: Why do you always leave it at a cliffhanger? **

**Me: It's coincidental. Anyway, folks this is the last setup chapter I promise. And I'll explain Cadillac's powers in later chapters and drop hints about his backstory later on. **

**Cadillac: Wanna bet on how many times this version of Russia is going to try and smash my face in? **

**Me: 5 bucks on 5 times.**


	3. Chapter 3: Couples Counseling

**Me: Okay, Cadillac will begin the questions with this world's version of Prussia. Again, I only own the interdimensional bookkeeper.**

* * *

"Prussia." This world's version of the ex-nation walked up, still staring at his dimensional other. The Prussia that was dragged here was staring back, mostly because he is a narcissist.

The second Prussia took a seat across from Cadillac and Prussia.

Bart touched his gauntlet and caused a black notebook to appear. After flipping through a few pages he spoke,

"Okay first question, is your name Gilbert Beilschmidt?" "Yes. And may I ask you a question?" Cadillac nodded,

"Why did you specifically bring the other version of me? Wait, lemme guess. It's because I'm awesome, ja?" Bart face palmed. "He makes a good secretary, even if he tried to seize my "vital" regions. Oh and do you force yourself onto people and attempt to take their "vital" regions?"

"Yes." "High-five awesome me!" "Oh this is going to be a long day."

The two albinos started to converse. "Do you have an awesome 5 meters too?"

"Yes! Do you have to deal with West's unawesome rules?" "Yes!"

"Dear God what have I done?" Cadillac tried to get control of the interview. "Do you have any romantic interests, doesn't matter if you're in a relationship or not." The native looked awkwardly towards the number of nations who were listening in. Cadillac saw this and caused a wall to appear between them. "The wall is soundproof and chances are slim I'll comeback and blab, so who do you love."

The Prussian sheepishly mumbled, "Hungary." The second Prussian's jaw dropped, "How could you be in love with that frypan wielding bitch?!"

"Didn't your version of her reject you for Austria?"

The Prussian next to Cadillac mumbled something about "unawesome stuck-up asshole" and began to sulk. The Prussian across from the two asked Cadillac his relationship with the nations he knew. "Trust me Gil, you don't wanna know."

* * *

_194 interviews and gold bar conjurings later_

Prussia and Cadillac were exhausted and bored after interviewing 194 countries that are exactly the same as the ones they know. They decided to interview the last two (Russia and America) at the same time. Cadillac conjured a bottle of vodka and took a swig.

"Okay, nod if your names are Alfred E. Jones and Ivan Braginsky?" They nodded.

"Are you two currently in a relationship with someone?" They nodded. Cadillac asked who before taking another swig of vodka. "Eachother." Cadillac did a spit-take while the Prussian's jaw drop. After drenching the large Russian in front of him, Cadillac chuckled and cleared his throat, "Hahaha, good one! No really are you guys celibate or something?"

The Russian took out his pipe and began to pummel the strange man. He just kept laughing each hit. The Prussian next to him snapped out of his daze and used the book in his hand to shield himself from the blood splatter. After he regenerated Cadillac broke out into a mad laughter,

"You gotta be fucking kidding me! Didn't you two spend a handful of decades trying to kill each other? This is like Batman going out with Joker! Oh wait kiss and prove it." The two complied, not noticing the man conjure a camera into his hands. Cadillac could barely hide his laughter as the two locked lips. Prussia still couldn't believe it. "Oh Gott, how much do you think the frying pan bitch will pay for that photo?"

"Okay, you can stop it you two. Might I ask, how in God's name did this unholy matrimony happen?"

America spoke before Russia tried to beat Cadillac to death again, "We aren't married, because someone still hasn't proposed." The Russian next to him sighed, "Are we really going to have this argument again?" "Yes we are! 5 years and you still don't have the guts to propose?!" "Maybe I'd be more willing to marry you if you could cook and not just order out every night." "At least my food isn't drenched in vodka!" "At least my food doesn't give people HEART ATTACKS!"

"Commie BASTARD!"

"CAPITALIST FATASS!"

Cadillac cleared his throat and tried to intervene, "May I suggest you two see couples counseling? I am a licensed psychiatrist myself." Cadillac passes the bickering couple a card.

Prussia raised an eyebrow, "When did you go to med school?"

"I'm older than almost EVERYTHING in this sector, I have to find SOMETHING to do." Cadillac turned back to the bickering couple. "Anyway, the sessions are free of charge. Might as well continue the interview." Cadillac cleared his throat, "For Ivan, are you fond of vodka?"

The US personification laughed, "He carries 7 bottles in that coat!" The Russian personification, annoyed, told Cadillac to move on.

"Did you ever force Lithuania into a maid's outfit and whip him?" The Russian blushed and immediately tried to dodge the question. The blonde next to him turned to him, "What is he talking about?"

Russia grabbed Cadillac by the coat and growled, "How did you know that?"

Cadillac gave him a big smile and said, "I know everyone's deepest, darkest secrets. Funny how they barely know mine."

Russia tossed the man back into his chair and answered yes to the question.

"I believe that's all we need, here's your payment." He touched his gauntlet to create two gold bars and get rid of the walls. He turned to his secretary, "Got everything?" after he nodded Cadillac snapped his fingers and both disappeared.

* * *

**Me: Apologies if this wasn't up to your standards. The next chapter will be better I promise!**


	4. Chapter 4: Bedlam

**Me: Okay this one they're going into 2p. Well, first they're taking a stop to get non-bloodstained clothes and the paperwork for documenting a world. I only own the psychopath that's dragging Prussia around. And the psychopaths behind bars in this chapter.**

* * *

Prussia once again felt like someone tossed him off Zugspitze. He gasped as he felt the floor finally materialize. Cadillac found the reaction hilarious as Prussia collapsed. "I know it might feel a bit weird but you get used to it after a few centuries." Prussia got up and saw he was in front of some sort of facility. It looked like a metal and futuristic version of one of France's castles from the Renaissance. The walls looked like they were made of silver and the window panes glowed a bright red. There was a sign that was written in 5 different languages.

_Bedlam Asile et Pénitentiaire_

_Bedlam Asilo e Penitenziario_

_Бедлам убежище и исполнения наказаний_

_Resonent Delictis et Uincti_

_Bedlam Asylum and Penitentiary _

"Where are we? And why is that sign written in the unawesome language of that drunken bear?" Prussia was hoping they wouldn't be going in there because it looked like it was pulled out of a Lovecraft story. The fact it was currently dark and Prussia could hear mad screams coming from it didn't help.

Cadillac smiled wide, "This is what my people call hell, and also the main languages spoken by my kind include French, Italian, Latin, Russian, and English. One of the reasons why when we first met I spoke in a vaguely French accent, at least I think that's what you mistook it for." He moved towards a panel that was by the gates. He typed in the following password,

_Laughing Tragedies_

The doors opened and Cadillac urged for the albino to go first. Prussia slowly entered. The inside of the facility was freezing and the only light came from a blinding red light ahead. Gilbert could barely see the murals on the walls. Cadillac flipped a light switch. The walls were a slightly darker silver and had no windows. The walls had paintings depicting Dante's Inferno, specifically, the 9 circles. Down the hall there was a single black door with a panel and a glowing red light. Cadillac was about to move to the door when he heard a chirping.

"Do you hear that?" Prussia pulled out Gilbird. "So that's why I heard chirping during the interview." Bart went back to the panel and typed in another password, _Repercussion, _and the door opened with a mechanical screech. Cadillac smiled when he saw the rogues were awake. "Welcome to Bedlam."

The cells were basically padded rooms reminiscent of Arkham, the lamps glowed a strange dark red, and the prisoners hands were stuck in metal orbs. Cadillac walked with delight as he saw the scum of his species either recoil in fear or try to break the glass to try and kill him.

"Welcome to Bedlam Asylum, these are our less violent and dangerous prisoners."

One such prisoner was a burly man who kept trying to smash the clear wall keeping him away from Cadillac and his guest.

"I'LL KILL YOU CADILLAC! I'LL SEND YOU ALL THE WAY TO HELL WITH THE REST OF THE SODOMITES!" The bigot kept trying to smash the glass as Cadillac gave him his signature Cheshire smile. "This here Gilbert, is Jacob Wells, an example of what happens when our kind let prejudice take over. He tried to kill every last one of the LGBT members of our kind,including myself. You can see how that turned out."

Jacob kept hitting on the glass. "YOUR THE REASON THEY CAPTURED THE OTHERS! GOD DAMNED YOU AND THE OTHERS FOR ALLOWING FAGOTS LIKE COLPIN TO -AGH!" The bigot couldn't finish his hate-fueled speech because Cadillac pressed a button that was next to his door. The burly let out a cry of agony as 360 volts of electricity ran through his body.

He fell backwards, hair singed and skin burnt. Cadillac smiled wider as he kept pressing the button, causing the body to shake and spasm. Gilbert just stayed shock, "These are your less violent prisoners?" Cadillac sighed, "I've tried everything to rehabilitate him but he won't budge. And the real monsterss are 20 miles below are feet." His eyes darted towards the hallway to his right, "The Abyss, home to the ethnic cleansers, the dictators, and sick, sick fucks of our species. Here is just were we put the crooks, bigots, mentally unstable, and con artists."

He moved towards a door that was in the center, above it was a sign labelled _Inventory. _Prussia followed. The room was spacious and had numerous shelves with various objects. Cadillac moved towards a bookcase and pulled one out. "Toss me the book." Prussia didn't hear that because he was fixated on a number of paintings on the wall with a large banner on top saying, "_In Memoriam". _The portraits were of a what looked like, a ginger hatter, a Latino smoking a cigar, a dark-haired man in red, and a woman that bared a striking resemblance to the bookkeeper behind Prussia. Meanwhile, Cadillac was grabbing a pair of goggles and two trench coats. He tossed one at the albino,

"They'll be more open if we arrive in clothes that aren't covered in blood. Now pass the book." Prussia tossed it and Cadillac put it on the shelf with the others. Gilbert looked at the trench coat, "Don't you have anything in a more awesome color?" Cadillac went to the closet and pulled out a purple one. "Now that's more like it. And the goggles?"

"They're something my kind put on so their vision better adjusts to a new world." Gilbert put on the gear and looked into the closest reflective surface, which was the silver wall. "You have to admit I make this look awesome."

Cadillac sighed, "The goggles and coat are a proud part of the Guild's uniform. The only reason you're wearing one is I'm to lazy to draw up a suit and materialize it for you." Cadillac warned him to get ready, and when Gilbert said he was, he snapped his fingers.

* * *

The 2P nations were having a normal meeting, and by meeting I mean a full out brawl that started after someone mispronounced Canada's name. The fighting stopped just as everybody noticed the sudden appearance of 2 glowing figures. When the light cleared, it revealed a black haired man in a trench coat with a metal hand and what looked like Prussia but in a pair of steam punk goggles and Joker's trench coat.

The black haired man cleared his throat, "Hello everyone. I'm Mr.-" Cadillac stopped mid-sentence when a knife just grazed his left ear.

* * *

**Cadillac: Why do you end these in cliffhangers? **

**Me: I don't wanna make the chapters too long. Anyway, next chapter will be up in a week or two. **

**Cadillac: Also plot hole patch up, **

**1. My kind can heal from getting chopped clean in half, being injected with a number of poisons, and falling of a cliff in the Swiss Alps. A little lightning can't kill us. **

**2. Our kind come from a variety of backgrounds. We ar- were a very diverse group but occasionally we got a few bad apples. Sad part is a few of the people there are only insane due to trying to adapt to what we call "Satan's Sector" and "The Mad Sector". Guess which one of those the nations live in.**

**3. The metal is a little ****indestructible alloy commonly found in what we call the "Hero's Sector". It's called adamantium by the natives in subsection: Marvel. **

**4. We keep a variety of things in inventory, such as spare clothes, trophies, and the prisoner's weapons. The portraits were added after I made a few memorials for my fallen comrades.**

**5. The facility was built when the first of us went rogue. A man by the name of Logan Matthews who tried to take over his world. We were able to subdue him and he remains in Bedlam to this day.**

**6. The goggles are of my design, in fact most of the things my people use are designed by me. The only reason I don't wear them is because I use a glasses version, less noticeable but a bit more fragile. **

**7. Our buildings were inspired by Renaissance architecture, specifically, Italian and French architecture. **

**8. The reason we keep a prisoner's hands in those orb things is because most of our kind can make anything from any drawing on ANY surface. A few of us need either clay, wood, or paint. I'm of a rare breed that can make create anything out of any art form.  
**

**I already said most of my kind were wiped out in a bloody holocaust right? **

**Me: Yeah. Well ciao. **


	5. Chapter 5: 2p Prussia

**Me: Warning, this chapter includes the following;**

**-Blood**

**-Psychotic OC and Nations**

**-Inventive uses of cutlery**

**-Cadillac uses one of his inventions to scare the living hell out of the 2ps**

**-Flashbacks to the horrible, horrible, oh so horrible things Cadillac has done to his version of the nations**

**-Mentions of cannibalism and dishes that were probably inspired by Hannibal**

**-References to many other franchises**

**-Cadillac breaks a 2p's arm after he disrespects him. **

**Is that it?**

**Prussia: Also you do not own the awesome me or the less awesome 2ps. The psychopath who beat my brother into a bloody pulp you do own.**

* * *

Prussia was confused, the people in front of him looked like his colleagues but if they were dressed like Batman villains (and the one that looked like him was dressed up in his old armor, had scars, and the hair of a peasant). Cadillac on the other hand found it amusing to see these nations are just as insane as the ones he knows, albeit with a bit more style.

The Canada of this world let go of his brother and walked towards the intruders. When Cadillac saw this version of Matthew dressed up as a Mountie, he began to laugh and point.

"Oh God, you have to be kidding me right? You're the Canadian personification? Wait, do you ride around on a horse trying to chase down a guy with a handlebar mustache?" Canada got infuriated quickly and threw a punch at the laughing freak. To his surprise, the man caught it and showed immense strength. Cadillac smiled and tossed the Canadian aside with one arm.

The 2ps watched as they saw one of the most feared nations be tossed into a wall. When Cadillac cleared his throat they listened.

"Now if I can continue without any interruptions, allow me to introduce myself. My name is Mr. Bart Cadillac and I'm here to interview you all. I am an interdimensional being and my job is basically reality's bookkeeper. Any questions?"

The British 2p went up, "And if we refuse?"

Cadillac flicked his wrist. Black oily tentacles violently sprouted out of his back, his already lengthy claws grew, and his bones grew till he was at least twice the size of everyone there, although his skin stayed the same and was currently hanging off his grotesque bones.

"Any more questions?"

* * *

After acquiring a room, Cadillac and Prussia began to interview Gilbert's dimensional counterpart. Cadillac sneered when he saw the large cross on the 2p's chest. "Is there something wrong?"

Cadillac's glasses glowed red, "Let's just say the Church has caused me a lot of strife in the past."

"First question, is your name Gilbert Beilschmidt?" The 2p shaked his head and said he was named Akbar.

The 1p snickered, "By any chance were you an admiral in your army?"

The 2p shook his head, "I am a soldier, sir. I was born to fight and will for as long as I can. True it is a lonely and tiresome life but I'm a soldier at heart."

Cadillac turned to the 1p, "Write this world down as the opposite world, seeing as this Prussia is way more of a man than you'll ever be."

Cadillac went back to the 2p, "Have you ever used the words "awesome","vital regions", or "5 meters"?" The 2p replied no.

"Are you the blood brother to Germany?" "Ja." "Do you live with him? "Ja."

The 2p stopped Cadillac before he could ask another question, "May I ask you a question?"

Cadillac laid back and replied sure.

"Why are you so close to the nations?"

Cadillac turned toward the 1p, "Okay with he have some privacy?" He touched his gauntlet, opened a portal, and kicked Prussia through it.

* * *

_Mad Sector: Subsection 2013-2014-1952_

France and Spain were currently having lunch and discussing their missing friend.

"How long till you think Gilbert annoys Cadillac enough for him to go into a rage and eat him?"

Spain was about to answer, when all of a sudden a certain albino fell from the sky, smashing into the table and the number of pastries and hot drinks on it.

* * *

Cadillac took of his glasses, revealing his black and red eyes, and sighed, "Honestly? I don't know. At first the world was nothing more but a vacation spot that had a childhood friend in it. Then it became a place for me to let the "other" guy out, and then it became a living hell. My history with the nations is a complicated one, filled with betrayal, torture, and just batshit lunacy."

He leaned back in his chair, and the 2p noticed his sclera changed back to normal while his pupils turned black, "My relationship with the other version of you was similar to a trickster and his favorite prey, then I became a servant, and finally a friend and colleague."

The 2p found this interesting, "And how exactly did you become a servant?" Cadillac chuckled, "If I were to explain that we'd be here all day, here", Cadillac touched the gauntlet and caused a gold bar to appear, "As payment for the interview."

Before Cadillac asked him to leave, he touched his gauntlet and caused the 1p Prussia to appear. He chuckled when he saw the albino was covered in whip cream, coffee stains, and crumbs. "Good to have you back, oh before you go there are a few more questions."

2p sighed, "Go on."

"Any love interest?" "No" "Are you any of the following, celibate, asexual, bisexual, heterosexual, homosexual?" "I am asexual, sex is nothing more but-" The 2p paused when he saw his dimensional other faint.

Cadillac told him they were done. After the knight left, Cadillac drew up (I explained his powers involve creation through drawing right?) a bucket of water and splashed it on the albino.

Gilbert woke up panting and turned to his former tormentor, "Did that guy just say what I think he said?"

Cadillac nodded.

* * *

**Me: Okay, that's enough for now. Feel free to suggest which 2p he should interview next. **

**Cadillac: Again, plot hole patch up time.**

**1. I designed this gauntlet to be able to hold a gallery of images, serve as a computer, and change my appearance. It's a lot more practical than carrying around a pencil and sketchpad.**

**2. The gauntlet comes with a mental link, making it possible to open a file in a second and impossible for someone else to use it.**

**3. Why I didn't just teleport Gil home? It's funnier if I throw him through a portal. **

**Me: Ciao for now.**


	6. Chapter 6: Cupcakes and Flashbacks

**Me: Really? No one. Fine, *spins wheel of 2ps* and it's *stops wheel* England.**

**Cadillac: Also, plot hole patch up. **

**-I was able toss 2p Canada aside like a ragdoll because one of the side effects of adapting to a certain section of the Omniverse(all of fiction) includes peak human condition. Also I was forced to undergo a few experiments that made me stronger, faster, and far more durable. In fact, my strength is on par with a certain web slinger from Queens.**

**-My eyes change color due to a genetic mutation that runs in the family. The claws and teeth also run in the family, but they got a bit longer after adapting to a certain sector that turns my people into psychopaths or at the very least DID. The eyes change depending on mood and at times the state of mind I'm in. If you ever see my eyes go red and black or completely black and I'm smiling, run.**

**-Adapting to an unfamiliar sector can lead to sudden mutation. Here's the list of named sectors and their side effects;**

**1. Hero Sector- Peak Human Condition. The sector filled to the brim with so-called "heroes" who don't use their powers to, I don't know, cure cancer. This sector is also the one that needs to be under constant watch from my kind because they somehow manage to nearly destroy themselves over, and over, and over again. Despite the fact my kind has saved them time and time again, they brought us to the brink of extinction.**

**2. Eris'- Sudden loss of hope, mania, and paranoia. The sector was named after my sister and is actually made up of 3 different chaotic sections. The section named after her is where you'll find a certain creature I believe humans call zombies.**

**3. Satan's Sector- DID, psychopathy, catatonia, mania, nails suddenly become claw like (or in my case longer), teeth become sharper. Home to slashers, creepypastas, the Elder Gods, and anything you might find in a horror film. This sector is actually off limits due to the fact many people either don't come back out or come back insane. I only made it out because I was lucky. ****  
**

**4. Death's Section (Eris)- Sudden loss of hope and depression. In this section I witnessed humanity be wiped out in many ways. Ironically, the apocalypses I've witnessed all involved humanity starting the End Times in some way. **

**5. The War Section (Eris)- Sudden paranoia. This is something of a prologue of Death's section. In this section. humanity is in a constant state of war and/or anarchy. My sister enjoyed the carnage.**

**6. Comedian's Sector- Sudden mania, the ability to be funny, and overall cheeriness. Home to clowns, cartoon characters, and anything that might make you laugh. In this sector, me and my sister met another member of our species for the first time. Let's leave it at that shall we?**

**7. Occult Sector- Nothing. Home to anything involving magic and mythical creatures. Despite the fact the only weakness to our kind is abundant there, it's a very popular spot to visit. **

**8. Mad Sector- Either catatonia, blindness, burning of the eyes, weight loss, hair growth, insanity, DID, psychopathy, and spasms. My kind call this sector mad because from the few survivors who actually made it back it is basically batshit insane. If you adapt to the parent sector (Comedian) then you don't have to go through the nasty acclimation process. One funny thing about this sector, since the world is so much brighter (to us at least) my kind can see in the dark. But oh god does it hurt when we go out without goggles or glasses.**

**Me: Enjoy.**

* * *

Cadillac called in the British personification and bit his lip when he saw what he was wearing. Prussia made the mistake of mocking him,

"Kesesesese, where'd you get that? The pride pa- OH FUCK MY HAND!" The British personification smiled as he tossed a knife at the other nation's hand. The blade went through his hand and stuck it to the book. Prussia pulled it out quick and ran to tremble behind Cadillac, who was laughing.

"Gil, be sure to write down this version of Kirkland has some serious knife skills, and better fashion sense." Cadillac turned to the somewhat creepy personification. "By guess your first name is Arthur?" The 2p shook his head and offered Cadillac his hand, "Oliver Kirkland, at your service."

Cadillac shook his hand with enthusiasm, and with just enough strength to crush Oliver's hand. They took their seats, Prussia took out his pen, and Cadillac took out his black book.

"During Spain's time as a conquistador, were you a pirate along with your siblings?" The 2p laughed at this, "Believe it or not no, the pirate lifestyle was a bit. What's the word? Oh, barbaric and taxing. I prefer my victims one at a time, speaking of which!" The 2p pulled out a cupcake, "Cupcake?"

Cadillac smiled and took it from the silently giggling man. After he took a bite, he spit it out immediately and pulled out piece of human skin. He turned to the 2p in disgust, "Didn't anyone teach you human flesh is supposed to be served like meat not as a pastry? Obviously you have the same cooking style as your counterpart." Oliver got confused, "Aren't you digusted you just ate a piece of human flesh?"

Cadillac chuckled, "One of the nations use to have me locked up in his basement, torture me, and starve me for months. The only food I was allowed to eat was the flesh of those he wanted "taken care of ". I was also forced to turn to cannibalism because of the other version of you."

This got the 2p's attention, "And how exactly did he do that?"

Cadillac smiled, revealing his many sharp teeth, "Where do I begin?"

* * *

_Cadillac groaned when he heard the Irish twins yell, "Caddy! Cap'n's calling!". He got up from his hammock, his broken gauntlet, grabbed his tattered conquistador that was filled to the brim with weapons, and went up deck. _

_When he got up his eyes burned as they tried to adjust to the light. He rummaged through his pockets and pulled out his red tinted goggles. When his hangover subsided and vision got better, he moved towards Captain Kirkland, who was currently leaning on the starboard rail. _

_Cadillac went to see what he was staring at and got confused when he saw only an island. He also got nervous when he saw out of the corner of his eyes the other Celtics start to join them. _

_"So why'd you ca-" Cadillac stayed frozen when he felt a sharp pain in his side, he looked down and saw Scotland's cutlass burst through his stomach. He looked up and saw Arthur was smiling. The Irish twins placed a sack over his head and tossed him over. _

_Arthur laughed when he saw the body hit the sand with a thud. Arthur turned to his brother, "Prepare to set sail Wales.", the brunette carried out the order with hesitation. _

_Cadillac let out a mad laugh when he felt the sword dig into his stomach more. He took the bag of his head and saw the ship was already a meter away. He saw Arthur was not at the stern of the ship, with a mad smile on his face. Captain Kirkland yelled, "Sorry mate, but I can't afford having a mad dog like you alive for too long! Nothing personal, just business!" _

_Cadillac's eyes turned black and red. He yelled at the top of his lungs, "Remember this Arthur! I will comeback, I will find you all, AND I WILL TAKE EVERYTHING FROM YOU!" _

* * *

"I spent 3 years on that island, surviving on whatever animals I could find which included scorpions and rats. When those ran out I resorted to slicing off pieces of flesh. I did eventually escape, but that was because a French Man of War passed the island."

The 2p found the story amusing and laughed. "My apologies, shall we continue with the interview?"

Cadillac nodded and went back to the book, "Are you sociopathic and plan the deaths of anyone who is a threat to you, even if they're part of you own fucking team?"

The 2p shook his head, "I plan the death of anyone who pisses me off."

"Are you heterosexual, pansexual, bi- Know what? How 'bout you just say your orientation and make this easier? Although telling by your suit the answer is pretty clear." The pink blouse-wearing 2p immediately tossed a knife at Cadillac's face, who, instead of catching it or moving, just smiled as it sliced through his forehead. Just as blackish red blood start to seep through the wound, Cadillac ripped it out and the cut healed instantly. He studied the blade, enjoying the sight of his tainted blood, and gave it back to Kirkland.

"By guess that outbursts means my assumption is correct?" The 2p nodded. Cadillac pressed the screen on his gauntlet and caused a bar of gold to appear. "Here's payment and also", Cadillac pulled out a card and tossed it to the 2p. The Englishman found it odd,

"Cannibal Cooking Club?"

Cadillac smiled, "We meet every month to share recipes, have a nice dinner, and talk. I could give you a ride there if you wish?" "I'll think about it." The 2p walked out.

Cadillac turned to Prussia, "What do you think are my chances?"

The albino stared at Cadillac as if he suddenly turned into a putrid monster, "You do realize that's another version of the man who tried to kill you three times, enslave you, and stabbed my fucking hand?"

"I'm attracted to psychopaths."

* * *

**Me: You know the deal. Blah blah comment what should happen next chapther blah blah I don't own the nations blah blah just take it from he Caddy.**

**Cadillac: Plot hole patch up, again. **

**- The Cannibal Cooking Club was something I started because I was bored. Basically, I looked for the most prominent cannibals in the Omniverse and asked them to join. Surprisingly they said yes and now every month I sit down to eat with**

** -Hannibal and Clarice**

** -Waylon Jones**

** -The symbiote from the Marvel section and whatever poor bastard is it's current host**

** -Vandal Savage**

**I don't allow people who eat children into the group and I don't allow people from the Mad Sector in because if they ever try to adjust my guess is they go pop. **

**-The psychopath attraction thing has resulted in some horrible breakups. I remember one of my exes tore the flesh off my body after I told her it wasn't working out.**

**-LT already wrote 10 chapters explaining my history with the nations in his story Who Are You? But I should probably explain the goggles. When I came to this world I packed a chest filled with books on numerous countries, spare goggles, and tons of art supplies. The goggles were designed to help my kind adjust to the Sector's environment. **

**See y'all next week. **


	7. Chapter 7: Opium, Tobacco, and Rock

**Me: Okay this chapter you're meeting up with opposite versions of- spins wheel 3 times- China, France, and Austria.**

**Cadillac: Wanna warn me about what to expect, I kinda need to bring Prussia back to his world in one piece. **

**Me: Just don't provoke them. Anyway, I only own the bipolar monster here.**

* * *

Cadillac called in this world's version of his childhood friend, China. When he saw this version was actually masculine and looked like a stoned soldier. Prussia was distracted by the short hair cut. The Chinese personification asked if they're going to move on and it snapped Cadillac out of his trance.

"Right, um, is your name-" Cadillac stopped when he saw this version of China pull out a pipe of some sort. "What is that?"

The Chinese personification shrugged and said opium. "I expected pot." Cadillac told the Prussian to shut up. Cadillac asked him to politely put it away, while also signaling for Prussia to write the opium thing down.

"So your name is?" Cadillac was still shocked at the fact this version of his childhood friend is a drug addict.

"Wang Yang." Cadillac eyed the shady version of his friend. "Are you a master in kung fu or use a wok as a weapon for some reason." The 2p then looked at Cadillac as if he was the stoner. "I use knives, not some damn cooking utensil. "

"Right, okay what is your relationship with this world's Japan?" The 2p shrugged, "He and I are good friends, even if he did jam his katana through my stomach."

_Guess some things never change. _Cadillac continued on, "Do you enjoy cute things?" The 2p started to laugh, "Fuck no, I enjoy drugs, blood, and money. In that order." _Strike that, these nations are psychopaths. _Cadillac conjured up the gold and sent the junkie on his way, but not before snapping a picture.

Prussia raised an eyebrow at this, Cadillac shrugged, "You expect the others back home to believe there's a non-androgynous version of Yao?"

* * *

When this world's version of France came in Cadillac got disappointed he looked almost exactly like the version he knew, although a bit more blue, sleep deprived, filthier, and the cigarette in his hand.

"Okay, before we begin any questions you may want to ask?" The Frenchman nodded. "By chance do you have a picture of my dimensional other."

Cadillac smiled wide, "I can do better than that." Cadillac rolled up his right sleeve to reveal more of the gauntlet. He made a flicking motion.

* * *

The French personification was about to pay the check (and damages done by Prussia's sudden appearance) when he vanished in a flash of light. Leaving a wallet-less Spain with the check.

"Hijo de puta."

* * *

The 1p France screamed as he felt as though he was free falling. Once he felt the ground materialize, he collapsed.

Cadillac laughed as he pulled the 1p up with one hand. "You two could be identical." The 1p looked to see who summoned him and immediately screamed. The 1p then began to cower in a ball and muttering "Please don't hurt me." in French.

The 2p stared at the coward, "This is supposed to be the other version of me?" Cadillac nodded, "If it makes you feel any better, you're supposed to be his opposite." Cadillac turned to his ex-boss.

He started to carve a circle around him (**Cadillac's gauntlet is clawed and he already has claws due to a genetic mutation**) The 2p France and 1p Prussia asked what he was doing, Cadillac smiled and touched the circle with his left hand.

In about a second it turned into a portal, causing the 1p France to fall through.

* * *

Spain was having a horrible day, both his friends were off with a psychotic interdimensional monster, his shirt was ruined, and he was in more dept. He still smiled though, until a certain Frenchman landed on him.

* * *

"Bullseye!"

Cadillac closed the portal and went back to the interview. "First things first, name?"

"Louis Bonnefoy."

Cadillac sighed and went down the list, "Favorite activities?"

"Sex, smoking, drinking, and arguing with England." _At least he isn't as much as a deviant as the other guy._

"Orientation?" "I'll do anything to get off." _And there's the common trait._

"Have you enjoyed the following activities;

-Decapitating people

-hiring/being a Privateer

-Cowering in fear

-or gambling, even at times betting your child, partner, and house?"

The 2p looked at Prussia, who shrugged, "He's still pissed about some stuff we did to him before WW2."

The Frenchman asked what exactly did the other nations do to Cadillac.

The traveler went stoic, "You're the one being interviewed, not me."

The Frenchman shrugged and took a drag.

"I believe that will be all." Cadillac conjured up a gold brick and sent the 2p on his way.

* * *

_Many hours later _

Prussia's hand started to hurt from all this writing and he began to whine, "How much longer must we do this? The awesome me wasn't made to work these many hours." Cadillac reminded him he's being paid 1,500,000 euros after this.

"I'm up! Who's next?"

Cadillac looked at the list he made, "Austria." "FUCK!" And as if on cue, the Austrian came in.

Cadillac immediately noticed the 2p's red eyes and the fact he was actually smiling and not sneering at him. The Austrian gave the two his hand, shocking them both. After shaking hands, Cadillac began to speak,

"Before we begin, any questions?"

The 2p nodded, "How did you do that monster trick?" Cadillac smiled and pointed to his gauntlet. "In my youth I designed a band that could allow me to change my appearance to anything I've seen before, later on I added the feature to my omnigauntlet."

"Is it also making it look like you have claws and fangs?" Cadillac grimaced. "No, those are a genetic mutation that runs in my family, although it's worsened over my millennium of being alive."

"How do you jerk it with those, or get a date?"

_"_Whose interviewing who here?"

Prussia smiled and decided to interject, "Why are you dodging the question?"

Cadillac began to blush, although since his blood is closer to black than red and his skin is paper white it was slightly more terrifying than cute. He sighed and answered the question, "I can't "jerk" it and men and women tend to run away as soon as I smile or offer my hand."

Prussia got puzzled by this, "Didn't you go out with Aztec and Francis?" Cadillac turned to his assistant, "She dyed her hair in the blood of her enemies and Francis will bang anything, and then dump it or give it to England." "Still not over that?" "Of course."

The 2p cleared his throat, "Shall we continue?"

"Of course. Next question, do you enjoy or play the piano?" "No, I listen to rock and rap music."

Prussia's jaw dropped, "Can you repeat that?" "I listen to rap music and rock and roll." The Prussian started to giggle and than went into a mad laughter, falling of his chair in the process.

"Moving on, did you ever go out with this world's Hungary or get beat up by this world's Prussia."

"Ah yes, I used to invade her vital regions all night long." The Prussian continued to laugh. "Oh Gott, stop it! Kesesesesesesesese!"

"As for Akbar, it wasn't defeat per se, I just let him win a few (hundred) times."

Cadillac gave the 2p his gold and sent him off. He then turned to the Prussian on the floor and pulled him up.

"Be sure to write down this world's Austria is the same as you." He flicked his wrist and caused both of them to disappear.

* * *

**Me: Finally done.**

**Cadillac: May I ask what took so long?**

**Me: Exams, anxiety attacks, writing on a number of other projects, and battery dies out quick.**

**Cadillac: Also plot hole patch up.**

**1. Before I made the gauntlet I had a number of other inventions such as;**

**-Transformation band- a wrist band that can alter appearance at will and at the flick of a wrist. Downside is it has to be something/someone you've seen before.**

**-Dimension Jumper- Another wrist band device but this one teleports you to another dimension.**

**-Tech Goggles- At first I used them to hide my strange, color-changing eyes. I eventually modified them so they can scan objects, translate texts, and give info on whatever I'm looking at. Kinda like google glass and Terminator vision but more badass. **

**I eventually made the gauntlet in my teenage years so I didn't have to carry wear two wrist bands. **

**2. Before mutating further, my nails and teeth were at first just pointed. Although, that didn't stop my guardians and peers to discriminate against me and beat me while yelling out "ANTICHRIST" or "DEVIL EYES". Funny story, my peers used to hold me down, tear out most of my teeth, and turn them into a necklace. After which they'd beat me near death and leave me in an alley. Of course the teeth grew back quick so it was a daily routine.**

**3. When my powers to create anything through artwork started to manifest, I got the fuck out of that hellhole. My powers allow me to create anything solid and a number of other things such as, energy blasts, portals, smoke screens, liquids, and lightning strikes. Yet I still got my ass kicked by a damn Spaniard who got a lucky shot. **

**Me: Ciao and be sure to comment what world he should visit next, and note it can be one you made and he can interview one of your OCs.**


	8. Chapter 8: Home Sweet Home

**Me: Okay, this one is going to involve Caddy and Gilbert taking a break from documenting and instead Cadillac's going to pay Gilbert, explain how his gadgets work, and I'm gonna shoehorn some references since they're going to Cadillac's house.  
**

**Cadillac: There's no fucking way I'm letting a nation see my house. **

**Me: How about just the lab?**

**Cadillac: If he lets my live test subjects out I'm going to kill him. **

* * *

Cadillac and Prussia materialized in what Cadillac's kind call "The Space between Spaces". This is where Cadillac's species lived and prospered. There were multiple castle-like buildings and vendor booths with signs in multiple languages all around. If Prussia could guess where they were he would say purgatory since the ground, sky, and anything that wasn't a building was just a white surface.

Prussia asked his interdimensional (let's say friend since Prussia is one of the few nations Cadillac can tolerate) where they were, and to his surprise the usually Cheshire grinned maniac had a genuine smile on. Cadillac took a deep breath and said, "Congratulations Pruss, you're the first one not of my species to lay eyes on Civitate De Artis."

He began to walk down the marble street and headed to a nearby vendor booth. He pulled out a paper and chuckled when he saw it.

_Mutated Freak Continues Reign of Tyranny _

His smile started to fade.

* * *

_Cadillac smiled as the crowd cheered his name. He and his council took down a genocidal madman, helped another Earth cure cancer, and just opened up a new asylum to help the members of his species who went insane after trying to trek into "Satan's Sector". Things couldn't be any better, until the purists came in. _

_They wore Guy Fawkes masks and held picket signs that said, "Why should a monster lead us?", "Red Eyes + Claws+ Fangs= Satan", "Keep the Guild pool pure", and "Does he even bleed?" They began pelting rotten food at him while chanting, "Monster."_

* * *

Cadillac tore the paper apart in a fit of rage, then turned to his companion. "I believe it's time to pay you." The Prussian nodded quickly, fearing if he disagreed he will get chopped up by the monster.

Cadillac got a manic grin on his face and began to walk towards a large castle-like manor. Prussia caught up quick, "What was that back there?"

Cadillac stopped in his tracks, turned to the Prussian, and gave him a large toothy smile. "Just a reminder of what the other guy had to go through."

* * *

_Many steps later_

"Oh Gott I can't walk anymore!" Prussia collapsed on the doorstep of large marble manor. Before he hit the ground, Cadillac caught him and put him over his shoulder. "How are you this strong yet seem so skinny?" "Due to adaptation and a few genetic experiments I can lift about 10 tons, before that I could bench press 544 kgs and bend most weak metals."

Cadillac opened the golden door and tossed the Prussian in.

The Prussian landed flat on his ass and cursed. Cadillac chuckled and told him to follow. Prussia started to gawk at the decor. The walls were solid marble but what caught the personification's eyes were the paintings. The walls were littered with paintings depicting Bart in numerous stages of his life, including his stint impersonating the Krampus.

Even under the black-tinted skin, horns, and satyr legs, Prussia could still make out Cadillac's Cheshire grin. His eyes moved to the small albino child in the painting who was cowering in fear, with little tear drops on his Templar uniform.

He jumped when he felt Cadillac put his hand on the man's shoulder. Unlike Prussia, Cadillac was smiling much like his counterpart in the portrait.

"Good times Pruss, good times. I also painted," Cadillac pointed to a portrait next to the Krampus piece that depicted Chibi-Italy being chased by what looked like a crocodile man. "my vacation in Venice when I was a teen. I also have a few from my adulthood." Cadillac dragged the Prussia further down the hall and pointed to two portraits hanging side-by-side.

The one on the left depicted Cadillac in a Venom-esque form torturing the Nordics during their viking years. Prussia was amazed by how life like the piece was. The one to the right was something a bit more dark.

It depicted Cadillac's time with Spain. It showed a horribly beaten up Cadillac having his fingers cut off by the axe-wielding Conquistador. Despite the horrible pain the man must've been going threw, this Cadillac looked as though he were laughing. The Cadillac next to Prussia silently giggled as he started to get a flashback.

* * *

_"AHAHAHAHA!" Cadillac let out another mad scream as he felt his left thumb be chopped off. He slowly started to cry/giggle when he saw his thumb join the pile of flesh that included his entire right hand, his shins, and most of his left leg. "That tickles!" Despite the strange creatures remarks, Spain saw his eyes start to water. _

_He crouched down and looked the freak in the face. "Listen, it's a simple deal. You make more gold and I don't cut off your body parts. Now are you going to make me more of that beautiful metal?" _

_Cadillac continued to giggle. He looked up at his captor and said in a manic voice, "Go to hell." _

_Spain sighed and picked up his axe. "Just know the next things I'll be chopping off are things you WILL miss." _

* * *

"Bart?"

Cadillac snapped back to reality and looked at his assistant. "Follow me." Bart started walking towards a hallway left of the gigantic staircase with Prussia in tow.

Prussia kept staring at the portraits strewn across the walls. He noticed almost all of them depicted Cadillac doing a number of heroic/adventurous acts. Slaying a dragon, Alligator wrestling, taking part in the Battle of New Orleans, and what looked like him crippling Death. He stopped at one that was covered with the only thing visible being a small label reading, "Jean".

"Why's this "Jean" one covered? It can't be that bad." Prussia made the mistake of reaching for the tarp and Cadillac quickly grabbed his wrist, crushed it in his palm, and used his other hand to lift the albino by the throat. He slammed Gilbert into the painting, causing his glasses to fall and reveal his black and red eyes.

"You are to never. EVER. Remove that tarp or utter that retched name again." Prussia nodded. Cadillac's sclera changed back to white, but his pupils stayed blood red. He let go of the Prussian and continued down the hall.

The Prussian caught up quickly and stopped the bipolar creature. "What the FUCK was that!?"

"Let's just say that guy is from a part of my past I rather keep secret." Cadillac continued on.

* * *

After 10 minutes of walking they made it to a large metal door way. Placed his palm in the center of it, causing it to glow blue, and slowly the metal contraption opened. As it opened, heavenly white light started to seep through, causing it to look like the gates of heaven were opening.

Prussia was not amused when the light subsided and it was revealed to be just an elevator. Cadillac got in and signaled for Prussia to come in. The room was completely transparent and littered with buttons.

"Why does this look like Willy Wonka's elevator?"

"I got the designs from him."

Cadillac pressed the bottom button next to the door labeled "Down the Rabbit Hole".

The elevator descended slowly and revealed what lied on the first floor.

"Oh. My. Gott." The floor was filled with just rows and rows of cars as far as the eye can see. From Mercedes to (of-course) Classic Cadillacs.

"I guess that's one way to compensate for an unimpressive 2 me-" Prussia stopped himself when he saw Cadillac's eyes change back to black and red.

"Some people keep wine in their basement, I keep my "toys" in mine."

After a few floors, Prussia could've sworn he started to hear a Godzilla roar. His eyes widened when he saw what was on floor "Kaiju". It was filled with the giant monsters kept in transparent/metallic prisons. When one of them roared, Prussia immediately grabbed on to Cadillac. He was not amused by this.

"You have 10 seconds till I break your spine." The albino let go quickly.

After another dozen or floors or so, they finally stopped.

The doors opened and showed a relatively small (compared to the others) room filled with a few strange objects. An array of swords, a black notebook, a few uniforms, an entire wall stocked with strange substances, 3 gauntlets that looked eerily familiar, a giant computer, and oh yeah. At the far end was a cage similar to the Kaiju ones but this one housed what looked like a giant human man who has his skin cut off.

"Welcome to Wonderland."

* * *

**Cadillac: Another damn cliffhanger? **

**Me: I'm splitting it in two. Now explain away.**

**Cadillac: Fine,**

**1- I've already explained my kind's creation powers right? So that explains my giant house and how the city was made.**

**2- There were at least 1,000,000 of us so chances are a few of those people were xenophobic. Funny story, there is a section we call "Where Progression Goes to Die" where it's basically a racist's dream. White people rule, minorities are dead or enslaved, and everyone is a horrible stereotype. If anyone goes in there they come out as either sexist, racist, homophobic, or anti-whatever. **

**3- Jean was my birth name. When my powers manifested and I escaped that horrible excuse for a life I donned a new name. To completely distance myself from my past. **

**4- As a result of being constantly demonized, dehumanized, persecuted, insulted, beaten, and people running away from me because of my appearance I grew up with a lot of body image issues and self esteem issues. Hell, the only reason I made a transformation device was so I could go out in public and not be considered a freak or demon. I became so ashamed I used to be a mute, wore mittens, a scarf, and black goggles to hide my features.**

**5- Yes, the house, the cars, the narcissistic paintings. All to compensate for my hideous features. Since I can't make a device that can hide my appearance I can at least make my house look beautiful.**

**6- I have a lab to study the creatures/items/energies found in a multiverse, mostly because I wanna know how the hell can these exist? Anyway, I use whatever weapon I can to subdue them and keep them in my basement. As for how the Kaiju don't get out, I made the cages out of a mixture of adamantium (There may be a world in the Marvel multiverse that has never heard of the stuff) and using a device I "acquired" in the Omniverse known as an invisible ray (there may also be a world that has no invisible man, and also the invisible man exists in the Omniverse). That way I can see my trophies/test subjects and come home to find my house destroyed.**

**7- As for how they haven't died, nothing ages in the "space between spaces" so rule out death by old age. I feed them human sacrifices. Don't worry they're criminals who would've received the death sentence anyway. **

**8- As for how I got a titan. Simple really, first I stumbled onto the world holding them, located a number of them, slaughtered all but one of them, than used a device I built to transport him to an area where I could subdue. I mostly just teleport them straight to a cage.**

**9- Take a guess what the notebook is an easter egg of. **

**Me: That it?**

**Cadillac: Yep. **

**Me: Ciao for now, and please suggest something to help me with the story.**


	9. Chapter 9: Toys, Coins, and Harolds

**Me: Okay let's get this over with so you can document... Wait a sec *spins Wheel of Nation Worlds* Oh, this is going to be hilarious. **

**Cadillac: Where are you sending me?**

**Me: You'll find out, also next world send in Artificially. Intelligent. Documenting. Robot. or**

**Cadillac: You're making me send fucking A.I.D.R? **

**Me: Yes, and while we're talking about your inventions how about you go on and explain your Deus Ex Machinas.**

**Cadillac: Fine. I'll only explain what they do and can't do. As for how I got them let's go with I "borrowed" some schematics and made some of my own.**

**-1: A.I.D.R- An artificially intelligent contraption that serves as a lab assistant, scout, and companion. He is something of a moron and because of that I gave him the exact same voice as Kirkland. **

**-2: Crossdimensional Teleportation- Originally I just drew up portals but that took time, and it required me to carry around highly flammable material. The device I put in my omnigauntlet teleports me right to a world's anomalies. Of course this is unfortunate since a world's anomalies can range between a normal person or a omnipowerful psychopath. **

**-3: Transformation Band- Ah yes, my attempt to become normal the good old "faking it" way. Worked out better than "perform horrible genetic experiments on myself" way. The current device I use has a parasitic life form that is sort of the babel fish of transforming. Of course it has one downside, I can only replicate features/people I've seen before.**

**Me: Like Slendy's tentacles?**

**Cadillac:Bingo, anyway LJ owns me and none of the nations. Enjoy. **

* * *

Prussia didn't know what to say, on one hand he was disgusted by how unclean the room was and petrified with fear because of the skinless giant.

Cadillac noticed this and decided to play a harsh little prank on the personification. He grabbed him, teleported them both high above the monster, and dropped him.

Prussia screamed as he saw the monster open it's grotesque jaw, waiting for the personification to land.

"OH GOTT WH-!" He stopped just 10 feet away from the atrocity. He started patting whatever it was that kept him away from the creature below him.

Cadillac materialized next to him, "Lovely, isn't he?"

"OH GOTT!" The albino jumped and started panicking. "WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT THING AND HOW THE FUCK AREN'T WE FALLING!?" The Prussian really started to lose it when he saw the bastard was laughing. "AND WHAT THE FUCK IS SO FUNNY!?"

"You nations are so adorable when frightened." Cadillac grabbed Prussia again and teleported both of them back down.

When both were on solid ground, Cadillac made his way to the computer. "As for the titan, he's a specimen I took from a little branch of your side of the Omniverse. As for the invisible cage, one of the many things I can produce with my creation powers."

Prussia was about to question the sturdiness when he realized he had Gilbird in his pocket.

When he reached into his pocket to pull out Gilbird, he found only a bloody ball of feathers and cracked bones.

"G-gilbird?" He started to cry. "OH GILBIRD WHY!?"

Cadillac found this entertaining.

* * *

_2 Hours of Crying Later_

"IF I BRING YOUR DAMN BIRD BACK WILL YOU FUCKING SHUT UP!?" Prussia sniffled and nodded.

Cadillac went through his shelves and pulled out a brown sack. He pulled out a couple of red and yellow leafs, placed them on the bird carcass, and stepped back.

The corpse started to glow and soon enough, Gilbird was alive and well.

"H-how?" Cadillac shrugged, "I've been alive and traveling for eons and in those travels I've found multiple ways to raise the dead (and make someone dead). This one I found in your corner of reality." Cadillac tossed the bag aside and moved towards the computer.

"Now, let's see where to go next. Oh that reminds me", Cadillac took off his gauntlet and called for someone named "Aider".

In about 5 seconds a small, white ball appeared in front of Cadillac. It seemed plastic in texture and had a mechanical blue glow.

"You called Bart?" The thing talked in a British accent eerily similar to Kirkland. "Oh hello there." orb flew over to Prussia and began to circle him, "I haven't seen you before, are you Caddy's new partner? You don't really look like his type?"

Cadillac sighed, "Prussia meet Aidr, aidr meet Prussia."

Prussia kept staring at the white orb, "AIDR? What kind of unawesome name is that and why do you sound like Arthur?"

"Oh, AIDR stands for Artificially. Intelligent. Documenting. Robot. I keep everything in order here and keep the life specimen from dying of starvation. As for the accent and voice, Cadillac told me he based me off someone who used to piss him off." The British robot turned to Cadillac. "So, why'd you call me up ole' chap?"

"I need you to go to a world and prepare the anomalies for my arrival, you are to give them info on my history in the Mad Sector: Subsector: Nation, Subsection: #20132014."

"So just any world?" Cadillac shook his head and touched his gauntlet, "I'm uploading the list of worlds we already visit, just go to one that is different."

"Your wish is my command." The device disappeared in a glow of blue light. Cadillac turned to the albino, "Now, how about I get that 1,500,000 in euros I owe you." Cadillac grabbed the albino and flicked his wrist, causing both to disappear.

* * *

They materialized in a room that was mainly fine wood and numerous metal doors with labels. Cadillac went to one labelled, "First Nation", and opened it.

As the dark grey doors slowly opened a blinding ray of golden light started to seep through. Prussia's jaw dropped.

Inside were mountains of euros, gold bars, gold doubloons, silver bars, and even jewels as far as the eye can see. The room reminded the Prussian of Russia's Amber Room but just so much bigger. The nation could only utter, "Awesome".

Cadillac went to a terminal next to the door, pressed a button, then spoke into the device. "1,500,000 in euros please."

The machine dispensed 5 large cases. Cadillac turned to the albino and asked if he wished to carry them or send them to his house now.

"I may have the same workout routine as West but I can't carry 1,500,000 in euros." Cadillac shrugged and started to carve a circle around the cases. He touched the engraving with his left hand and caused it to turn into a portal, and causing the bags to fall on whichever poor bastard was standing just below.

* * *

_Germany's house_

Germany was reading the paper with coffee in hand. _3 weeks without Prussia, no headaches, no angry calls from the female nations, no France or Spain coming to wreck my house. Thank you Bart Cadillac. _

The German heard a loud crash come from his basement and a familiar voice yell, "GERMANY!".

_Gott damn you Bart Cadillac. _

* * *

Cadillac closed the portal and turned to the nation, "Now, while AIDR is prepping the other nations for our arrival, how about I give you a tour of the house?"

* * *

_Meanwhile in Gender reverse Nationverse _

The nations were having a relatively normal meeting, until a sudden blue light appeared in the middle of the room.

AIDR set his voice volume to 100 and boomed, "All HAIL THE HAROLD OF ENCRE NOIRE!"

* * *

**Me: Okay let me explain something quick, Caddy you're the interdimensional immortal you explain.**

**Cadillac: When jumping from world to world time changes greatly, for instance I spent 200 years stuck in the nation's world and when I came out 20 years passed. Another example, when a certain group of so-called "heroes" imprisoned me in a dimension for 30 years I spent the equivalent of 300,000 years. The time change isn't as great when it's in the same subsection, 15 hours= 1 day in the case of the nationverse.**

**While I'm at it I should explain the gold. I keep large room filled with currency and metal from a version of earth. If I try making my own with my powers they can turn up as counterfeit. I usually just make gold and exchange it at a native pawn shop.**

**AIDR, yes I based him off a bumbling (and happy drunk) Arthur. **

**While documenting worlds I tend to take inanimate objects and put them on display. I also take blood from the live anomalies (sometimes consensual) or in the case of a few of them, their ashes. I took a few things from the nations over the years, blood, axes, old uniforms. **

** Yes, AIDR called me Black Ink in French. It was a name my friends called me because of my love of ink drawings and my love of French culture. Such a shame they got stuck with a moron for their personification. **

**Finally, I did not mean to hit Italy. How was I supposed to know who was below the portal? **

**Me: I'll be sure to make the next one longer, which will also explain Cadillac's relationship with *his* nations. Ciao.**


End file.
